It is a myth that men do not experience physical violence from partners. Female partners may be much smaller but, as most men do not retaliate, many suffer violence from their female partners. Women are also more likely to use a weapon or to attack when a man is in a vulnerable situation, e.g. asleep.m Physical abuse, like other forms of abuse, is often a tactic used to control. Those who use physical violence may do so if it is an effective form of abuse to use. It is a way of policing or controlling your behaviour. If more subtle forms of emotional abuse do not achieve what the abuser wants to achieve, they may resort to violence.
Physical abuse, like other forms of abuse, is often a tactic used to control. Those who use physical violence may do so if it is an effective form of abuse to use. It is a way of policing or controlling your behaviour and making you see your partner in a fearful light which in turn makes you more obedient to them. It is a cycle of fear, however physical abuse can escalate rapidly. If forms of emotional abuse do not achieve what the abuser wants, they may resort to violence. There is a common misconception for men, where they tend to think that some violence, such as a slap, pushing or even hitting is “normal” and “expected” from a relationship, and that “a man should just take it”. This is not true, and any violence, regardless of how rare of an occurrence, is still physical abuse and this could even escalate into an often and more violent pattern.
Despite what some people might think, it is not necessarily a loss of control. Rather, it can be both controlled and controlling. It is usually aimed at areas of the body which can be concealed by clothing so no one else can see the injuries. Where there have been injuries to more exposed parts of the body for example; face, neck and hands, the abuser expects you to lie about its origins or make up an excuse. Or you may feel the need to out of your own self-shame or embarrassment. It can feel humiliating to have to explain to the people around you how an obvious injury that you know was caused by your partner, occurred. And so you may resort to hiding abuse in plain sight.
The abuser can then rely on the threat of future violence and fear as a means of control – any future incidents exist in the shadows of the worst incident.
Physical violence can include, but is not limited to:
Do you:
The severity of injuries experienced by men varies as it does for women, but the intent behind the violence is the same – control. Men who tell us about physical abuse often dismiss or understate injuries, telling us they weren’t injured despite having bruising or scratches. Some, while saying they are not afraid of their partner, have told us that they sleep in a separate locked bedroom as violence is instigated when they are in bed or asleep. Many men hesitate to resist or defend themselves against physical attacks, such as restraining an abusive partner, because they fear being labeled the abuser.
It is important that people are aware that men can be at risk of serious harm or homicide.
