What is Gaslighting?

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Gaslighting is a common form of domestic abuse when someone is manipulated into doubting their memory, perceptions and judgements. It is a specific type of psychological and emotional abuse. The term comes from George Cukor’s famous 1944 thriller Gaslight, portraying a dangerous relationship where an unwitting victim is manipulated by their partner in order to make them doubt their own sanity. Gaslighting is used to destabilise a victim’s beliefs. Like all forms of abuse, this can lead to poor mental health, it is a method to ‘trap’ someone into an abusive relationship as the victim is increasingly in denial.

It is one of the most common forms of abuse that men face. Research by SafeLives (2019) found that 71% of male victims of domestic abuse had their “memory questioned or been told that they’re imagining things they know to be true”.

Signs your partner is abusive

There are many signs that someone is abusive through gaslighting: 

This behaviour can be very discreet and gradual. It may initially seem harmless but can have long-term and significant effects on a victim’s mental health and general wellbeing. 

Signs you are being ‘gaslit’

There are many signs of being a victim of gaslighting. Some common signs include:

Friends and Family

It is common for those who are being gaslit to be isolated from their friends and family. One of the first signs of serious abuse is having deteriorating relationships with your loved ones. If a partner is pushing you apart from people you have strong, established connections with, it is possible you are in an unhealthy relationship.

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